19May 2017

If you don’t feel the empowerment, don’t do it!

Houston1_ElenatecchiatiI have been giving classes here in Houston with the topic “effective communication, conflict management and how to solve difficult situations in teams”, and I loved the way the participants were responding to the content, they were amazed by the fact that such easy tools could change the way they feel about approaching others in critical situations achieving good results. So in the end: if you want different results, learn and use a different approach, or at least try it.

I realized once again working with different cultures, that the common goal is happiness and satisfaction at work, with the premise that we need to be happy first if we want others to be happy and to get engaged in our team.

Good leadership is an ongoing process, it is about effective communication, empathy, emotional intelligence, and empowerment. Leadership is about creating followers, and not forcing them to follow you.

Where does happiness at work comes from? I don’t want to write a blog about happiness and satisfaction at work, there are a lot of studies and investigations about this topic, but I want to stress out a message that is, according to my experience, the right attitude for solving conflict as a leader: Feel the empowerment!

Leadership empowerment is the feeling you have (or don’t have) you are able and you have the “right” for leading, and it works like the self fulfilling prophecy in a way that it gives you the right attitude for acting with responsibility and humility.

Studies say, if you don’t have the desire to lead, you cannot be a good leader. Here it is: feel the desire and wish to lead, feel the empowerment they give to you to lead, and work on it every day in order to create great teams and great environment at work.

Empowerment is not about the contract or the position, is about attitude, mind-set and self-confidence. I am not talking about power abuse or of letting them feel you are the boss, no way! I am talking about the heart of the fulfilling of a position, of the feeling you deserve it and you can make it.

When I ask in my leadership training “Do you feel the empowerment?” I notice every time that the participants think over it. The question makes them think and reflect about the relationship they have with they report (up) but it has not really to do with it.

Empowerment is a personal attitude that we create and develop through experiences, love for our work and self-confidence. Leadership empowerment creates the attitude for leading and managing people, for doing the job without hesitation and or taking over responsibilities.

If you feel you can make it, then you can make it. It doesn’t mean you are not going to make mistakes, but it means you are going to learn from them without thinking you failure.

Develop your feeling for empowerment:

  • Work on positive atmosphere at work.
  • Talk with them and not TO them.
  • Be a friend, but don’t forget you are the leader.
  • Give recognition, not only through incentives and a free meal, but communicating with them.
  • Love your job and show that you love it through commitment to them.
  • Lead by example, do what you say you and they should do.
  • Do you feel the desire to lead? If not, leave it.

If you feel the empowerment they will feel it, too.

 

 

 

14Apr 2017

Are you able to communicate “LOVE”?

Love Comm _ Elena TecchiatiWords are cheap, we know this very well. Everybody who has been disappointed knows exactly what I mean.

In many cases it is not easy to speak the same love language and I am not talking only about love affairs (which is sure one of the most important issues in our life), but I am speaking generally about all the relationships we generate throughout our life.

Imagine the concept LOVE as the concept of mutual respect taking the other as the perfect human being, not less or more important than you. If we were able to think like this and to maintain this attitude towards others the world would be free from many conflicts and wars.

There are different ways of communicating love in our daily life, and it could be more or less intense if the other person is the ONE in our life. In this case, as I am writing for a more “business” audience, I would like to point out that I refer to love as the concept mentioned above, respect and equality.

Spend quality time with the other.

Learn how to listen, do not let your cell phone or other devices stay in your conversation. Try to understand exactly what the other person means and follow her thoughts. Stay with the other when she is speaking about herself. Don’t change the topic talking about you. Now she is talking about herself, give her your full attention.

Do not judge if you are not asked to comment or to give solutions.

In many cases people only want to be listened and not to find a solution for something that YOU think is a problem. You can offer help, you can offer to think over a solution, but do not give feedback or do not jump into the “I want to fix it-syndrome”.

Be sincere, but don’t kill through your sincerity.

“I think your new haircut does not fit you.” Have you ever heard it? Does it hurt? First of all, it is YOUR opinion, second, have you been asked to give your opinion? And at the end, what does it change? She has already had her hair cut, your feedback only would hurt and nothing else. Remember: there are different ways of communicating opinions and ideas and to play the “I know it all” in these cases only can hurt.

Appreciate others’ ideas and opinions, even though they are far away from yours.

My way of seeing things is not the center of the world. Even though, it is the way I live and I act. The others around me may have the same thoughts about their way of living their life. Respect others’ ideas, reflect with them about them and show you care. A good conversation and discussion should be polite, but it does not mean you share the same opinion.

Learn how to eliminate specific sentences from your vocabulary.

Sentences such as “you must” or “you should” express your higher position in your communication setting. They also express obligation, feel strong and heavy. Learn instead to express wishes and positivity using maybe sentences such as “maybe you could think of…” or “have you ever thought of…”

Show a body language orientate to the other.

Your shoulders and the whole body should show you care, should show you are in an active communication with the other. Your voice should not be too loud or too soft, just adequate to the distance and communication topic. Observe how others communicate through their body and voice in order to learn from them and to correct yourself.

The list could be longer, start with these pieces of advice to enhance your communication skills in order to reach more satisfaction and happiness in your daily life.

Thank you for reading, sharing, and commenting.

Happy Easter Holidays!

08Mar 2017

Workshop Elena TecchiatiWhen it comes to performance there is one point for me that is critical and can be crucial at the same time: when I start judging myself.

During my last training I realize even stronger that in the moment I start judging myself about my performance and about how good or bad I am my performance is decreasing. In that moment I am not able to switch off my internal radio, and I could even feel the embarrassment judging my judgment.

This vicious circle was impeding me many times to stay 100% at the disposal of my participants, it was impeding me to give my best, it was simply impeding me to be successful.

This reminds me of the last time I was playing beach volley with a group of friends. I was simply enjoying the time and the nice weather, screaming and laughing around, wearing my ACDC cap and singing “Highway to hell” every time we were scoring. I was not judging myself, I was not worrying about my performance, I was not worrying about thinking what other were thinking about me, we were simply a team, I learnt how to pitch (finally!) and I was having a lot of fun. We were motivating one another, hugging each other if something was good, hugging each other if something went wrong. At the end, my team won.

Once that I know the game, the more I let go and the better I can play the game. If I forget to control myself, or I simply put the control at the side before it controls me, I feel less obligated to be someone I do not want to be. Or maybe someone I can’t be.

In these moments I let go the pressure I feel, I am be free of judgments and guilty feelings, my performance is at its best.

In order to do this, I had to learn the game, making experiences and learning to switch off the radio, learning to receive feedback and to deal with it, learning that I am more than how I behave, learning that love can have a lot of forms, also for myself.

In the meantime I keep coaching a lot of people about this learning process, hoping they can experience what it means and how it feels to put the control in the cloud, so that it is not controlling you.

Control and judgment can be my enemies, can be able to make me suffer, and to delete the joy of my work.

Still now every now and then I have to struggle myself with this. It is hard to let go when you have thought for years that good performance is about trying to be perfect. But this is only pressure, obligation, guilty feelings, and they can destroy the good moments.

Maybe this post reminds of one of your experiences. In this case, share. Thanks.

02Jun 2016

Sometimes it is frustrating when you want something so bad and you cannot have it. Sometimes it is better to let it go, to wait and just accept the situation.

Relationships_Elena  TecchiatiAccepting is a matter of maturity and love, love for yourself, for preventing you from suffering.

When you are expecting something and you don’t get it, than you are frustrated, sad, disoriented. So it is better not to wait, not to expect, not to want it so bad.

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04May 2016

Are you a self-leader? Check it!

Ten ways for perfect Self-Leadership

Self-Leadership Elena TecchiatiI love the idea to support people and to make someone happy, as coach and trainer I guess this is the real objective of my activity. There is a big difference though in doing something for someone or showing someone how to do it, so that he or she can do it alone once that I am not there to support him or her. This is for example the essence of the work of many associations that help people to build up a new life.

Self-leadership is about it: how to create a life, a successful mindset, is about putting heart and mind together.

In the past many times I found myself in the situation of knowing exactly what to do but that for some strange reasons I was not able to move a finger. Self-leadership is the art to influence yourself, is about taking decisions in an effective way, it is a mindset that will lead you to a happier and successful person.

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